Posted in Uncategorized

More Money More Problems

Enough is enough!

At some point you have to stop and realize what is important in life, what works for your family dynamic, and ultimately what makes you happy. Today was my breaking point. Another bad review, another problem with my book. Today, I threw my hands up in the air! Really, it seems that since the book has come out, it is one problem after another and I am over it! My stress has gone through the roof and for what? I trusted and had faith in the process of the people who were my team to handle things and now I feel like I didn’t do my due diligence. As of today, I am contemplating leaving the publishing world for a break to live and not worry.

Being a published writer was not my ultimate dream, it was suppose to be a fun side project to do and I find myself with more gray hairs and less money. Yes I am grateful for the experience, yes I am grateful for the privilege to meet new people, but I am not happy to spend every moment outside of my career as a teacher fixing other things. I do that all day here. My blog will remain as I enjoy this, will keep up with my team work on a life coaching magazine, and create short stories to read for fun. For me I am contemplating a move, I think self-publishing is the way to go at least for the time being and for my lifestyle. Here I can create my own timeline and work how I please. Getting back to the basics where writing is fun again and not such a chore. As always, I will go to God with my concerns, but self love has to start with me. My family needs me and I need them.

Photo by Josh Sorenson on Pexels.com

This may just be another adventure that I have in life that I can reflect on. A few weeks ago, it was laid on my heart to self publisher like my grandfather did in the 90’s, a pioneer before his time. Now that voice is stronger and I believe I am where I need to be. Even though it isn’t the easiest decision, I am at peace and am surrounded my friends and family who support me and a daughter who is excited to be apart of the process.

As always stay tuned….

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Posted in Life

Busy week

A LOT has happened in the last few days, so much that today as I reflect on everything, I am a little overwhelmed.

First off I WON a Freewrite. I reblogged the post from Tory  Hunter Books https://toryhunterbooks.com/2019/02/08/the-big-10k-giveaway-winner-and-other-news/ if you are interested in taking a look.

Second, today I ran my first 5K and finished! This was a last minute decision by my friend and I. I was already training for one in March for my school district, but was definitely not where I should be, but it was a good cause and from this I would be able to judge where I stood. All I wanted to do was finish and run the whole thing and I DID! With my fastest time to date. Now to work up to March.

Last but certainly not least, my book baby arrived. For me to physcially hold my novel in my hand was a moment that I won’t forget. The best part was I got to share it with my daughter. She has been waiting to finally see the finished book and immediately sat down to read the first chapter.

If nothing more, I hope I show my daughter than even at 35, you can achieve your dreams. She is my inspiration, my muse. The reason I work so hard. Thank you to everybody that has made all this possible especially my publisher, JSmith Publishing. Without them, this dream would not be a reality. Check out the video below to see the book reveal.

 

Posted in Life

Time in the World

I should be storyboard editing my second book, but I found myself coming to my blog to write some thoughts down.

I realize today I haven’t written much of my 3rd book in a few weeks. Honestly other than writng in my journal or on here, I haven’t really put pencil to paper. Why? Who knows? Writing isn’t my first job, it is Teaching. Then I also have a family. For now I have been focusing more on #selflove and my family than writing. My daughter and husband need me to be present and well hell I am a work in progress. Those two are my biggest supporters through it all and when they need me, then everything else can wait.

Even though this is a hobby, with my book coming out in 20 days there is a lot of behind the scenes work going on for the launch to be successful. To be truthful, I didn’t realize how much work went into AFTER the writing. This has been a learning process for sure. Even through the hard times and stress, I am grateful for this opportunity to publish my book. It still doesn’t seem real to me that this is all finally happening. My daughter is now writing her 1st book at 8. I am so proud of her and if nothing else, I hope that I have inspired her to live out her dreams no matter how long it takes.

I love writing and when the motivation strikes again, I will reach for the paper and pencil and continue to work on the harrowing adventures of Jean Stone. But for now, an 8 year old needs me to read her story and for that I have all the time in the world.

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Posted in Life

Plans

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I am not a very religious person, it is something I have a struggled with most of my life. I grew up with the typical Southern background, Church every Sunday, church camp etc. Religion was not something we discussed in my household very often. My granny was a very religious person. There were scriptures on the wall in pretty frames, gospel music playing on the turntable, and a GIANT bible on the coffee table. I always felt it was ASSUMED we understand what church was all about, but I do not ever recall having any real conversations with my family about anything.

As I got older, I fell away from church. My parents got divorced and I found other things to preoccupy my time. When I met my husband, we didn’t talk religion other than mentioning our upbringing. We were not married in a church nor did we attend our first service together until after our daughter was born. You see I went to school for Science. Science and Religion do not mix very well. It is an internal conflict that personally deal with to this day. I do not try to fit into any mold or group, but I believe in both.

When we lived in Gulfport, we found the most wonderful church family. Pastor Claire Dobbs was the reason I came back to the church after so many years away. When we had to move back to Texas, I cried to leave such a wonderful place. Even now when I can’t make it to church, I listen to her sermons on line. As I write this, our family is still trying to find the right fit, but for now we have a little church family we spend our Sundays with along with my mother.

After 4 months away from church, I decided I needed to go and start the week off on a good note. Today the pastor talked about God’s plan for us. What is it? How will we know? When will he tell us?

I am very much a controlling person, meaning I feel the need to control all aspects of my life. That when I am out of control, the world crashes around me. That is my adult ADD and anxiety talking, but as I sat there today, I wondered what my plan for his work may be. You see I do not actually want to control every part of my life, but my difficult brain believes that if I do not control it, that all these bad things will happen to me. Truth is, bad things are going to happen regardless if I do or do not have control of things. Many times in my life, even now, I wonder if I do enough around me, do I need to do more, am I doing too much now.

Today as I bowed my head to pray, I asked God to lead me, use me to do his works, use my talents to bring those closer to you, and to find peace within in my decision to let go. For the first time in forever, a weight was lifted off my shoulders. Even at 35, I am still learning my story with God, learning how to work with him, not against him and to finally let go and let GOD.

What parts of your life do you struggle with?