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Reflection

Today is the last month of the school year, 21 days left . My second year of teaching is about to come to a close. While I am happy to spend more time with my little one, I am going to miss these kids that I have grown to love and teach.

This year has been crazier than my 1st year of teaching, but most of it was due to personal reasons. This year has taught me strength, perseverance, and relying on my faith to see me through. While my teacher evaluation came back with high scores, I do not feel like I was able to be my best at all times. I know most teachers have to feel that way, but I plan on major reflection this summer as well as beginning my Master’s degree. My area of study is something that I struggle with…ESL/ELL. This was my first year to work with this demographic, while it can be a struggle, it comes with many rewards. Through trials and tribulations, I made it through this year and gained some knowledge along the way. After much thought, I have decided to sign on and stay at this school next year. I am ready to set my roots and expand my career. My students need a routine, a safe place they can return when things get to rough. I still haven’t forgiven myself for leaving my students last year.

April saw not only me gaining another year of age, but another year of marriage. I am truly blessed to spend another year with my best friend and husband. This time last year, I wasn’t sure we would ever see 15 years, but God gave us another chance to work together as one and for that I am truly grateful.

For now, I prep my students for the dreaded STAAR and work on finishing up the year.

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Peace

The last two weeks of my life have probably been the most peaceful I have had in almost a year. The mind is quiet, no worries, no bothers, just living and enjoying my life. Crocheting, reading, snuggling with my pets, and being present with my family.

People have asked me…”When you coming back?” Honestly, I do not know. I have been able to be present with my daughter, love on my gracious husband, and spend a lot of time deep in mediation with the Good lord and his word continuing to grow my faith.

The truth is that I like just being a teacher, a mom, and a wife. My needs and dreams have changed after the last year and I know longer feel empty and alone. While I enjoyed writing to help me escape my life, I am not trying to escape now, but embrace this life the Lord has given me. Yesterday my cousin posted something on Facebook and it resonated with me.

What if you are meant to be rescued from your current situation, but rather revived through it? Psalm 71:20

My writing was meant to be an escape from the life I thought was so broken, but God has shown me that I was where I needed to be all along. That I needed to take off the dark colored glasses, see all the wonderful things that I had right in front of me that I was missing. My family, my work, my faith. I was broken, but I am not anymore and for now I am making up for lost time from the darkness.

I am even going back to finally finish my Master’s degree. Although I am nervous, I am excited for this wonderful opportunity to advance my career and earn a higher degree.

The last year has taught me a lot about loss, humility, and sadness, but I refer back to it as my rebirth. I fell, but I am getting back up and learning to forgive myself one day at a time.

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More Money More Problems

Enough is enough!

At some point you have to stop and realize what is important in life, what works for your family dynamic, and ultimately what makes you happy. Today was my breaking point. Another bad review, another problem with my book. Today, I threw my hands up in the air! Really, it seems that since the book has come out, it is one problem after another and I am over it! My stress has gone through the roof and for what? I trusted and had faith in the process of the people who were my team to handle things and now I feel like I didn’t do my due diligence. As of today, I am contemplating leaving the publishing world for a break to live and not worry.

Being a published writer was not my ultimate dream, it was suppose to be a fun side project to do and I find myself with more gray hairs and less money. Yes I am grateful for the experience, yes I am grateful for the privilege to meet new people, but I am not happy to spend every moment outside of my career as a teacher fixing other things. I do that all day here. My blog will remain as I enjoy this, will keep up with my team work on a life coaching magazine, and create short stories to read for fun. For me I am contemplating a move, I think self-publishing is the way to go at least for the time being and for my lifestyle. Here I can create my own timeline and work how I please. Getting back to the basics where writing is fun again and not such a chore. As always, I will go to God with my concerns, but self love has to start with me. My family needs me and I need them.

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This may just be another adventure that I have in life that I can reflect on. A few weeks ago, it was laid on my heart to self publisher like my grandfather did in the 90’s, a pioneer before his time. Now that voice is stronger and I believe I am where I need to be. Even though it isn’t the easiest decision, I am at peace and am surrounded my friends and family who support me and a daughter who is excited to be apart of the process.

As always stay tuned….

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The Big 10k Giveaway Winner and Other News

What an amazing day!!!

Tory Hunter Books

Deep breath.

I can’t believe the time is finally here. I am not screaming this, it’s coming out in a calm elation, a wave of unexpected, joyous peace. Something you may not know about me – I love gift giving. I remember the first time I got a one hundred dollar bill, I think I was twelve, I went to the mall to spend all of it on Christmas gifts. I LOVE seeing people smile.

When I initially announced I would do this giveaway, it was a crazy aspiration to me at the time. I didn’t know if I would ever actually make it to ten thousand followers, so I say this to you with true sincerity: thank you.

Thank you for being a part of this crazy journey with me, thank you for bringing me into your journey, thank you for sharing your stories, your dreams, your fears, your…

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